Farm visitors treated to a warm welcome
Hundreds of families flocked to Ambridge last weekend as farms threw open their barn doors for Open Farm Sunday.
‘It was a very successful day,’ said Pip Archer of Brookfield. ‘I was worried people wouldn’t come, because of the outbreak of IBR, a really nasty, infectious cattle disease that we had. But funnily enough, people didn’t know about it until I reminded them! Even when I went on about how awful it was, with calves dying and everything, it didn’t seem to put them off Gran’s chocolate sponge.
‘It’s great that people know Brookfield for our milk, lamb and beef, and not as the “farm of plague and pestilence”, said Miss Archer. 'I bet they went home, forgot about the hideous, contagious disease they’d just been exposed to, and increased their orders for Brookfield beef. No wonder Dad says I’m a marketing genius.’
But not everyone was happy that Brookfield had decided to take part in the event. ‘They’ve got a nerve after all the trouble they caused with the IBR,’ said Tom Archer of Bridge Farm. ‘And they’ve got my dad’s classic Fordson tractor, which is worse. Everyone knows the kids love to climb up on an old relic. That’s why we usually invite Joe Grundy over to tell his tales of old Borsetshire.
‘As it was, there was nothing to distract the visitors from my sister Helen. Her friend Kirsty had made a sign for her, which read ‘Yes, I’m Helen Archer who stabbed her husband. No, you can’t have a selfie. Get over yourself and taste my cheese.’ But it only seemed to make people more determined to ask her about the trial. And no one was interested in my fermented foods at all. Although someone did ask me if Kale Kimchi was that bloke out of EastEnders.’
Your week in the stars
What does fate hold in store for our readers? Our resident astrologer Janet Planet is back with all the answers…
Being as stubborn as a ram is unhelpful if you are having relationship problems, but lucky Arians may find the path back to true love runs a little smoother with the aid of a friendly benefactor – for example a millionaire step-father to be, who is willing to hand over a hefty chunk of change to get you out of his hair and his bathroom.
Virgoans with a head for business will find everything is going swimmingly this week – but be wary of springing unwelcome surprises on your family. Tell your father that you have gone behind his back to cancel your university place, and you may find that Uranus goes retrograde very quickly indeed.
They say that eavesdroppers never hear any good of themselves, but if challenged about spreading a rumour, fair-minded Librans know they are only passing on essential information for the good of the village. And there is always a silver lining to any cloud, especially if by inadvertently overhearing someone’s private conversation, you can make sure your daughter’s family is first in the queue for a starter home in the new development you are not supposed to know about.
This ‘summer of love’ has already proved to be a turning point for hot-headed young Sagittarians, who will be itching to break free from ‘normcore’ activities and to make their fortune. But a word to the wise: if you insist on ending your education at 16, you may still find you need more on your CV than a working knowledge of Call of Duty and a pus-filled eyebrow piercing.
*If you are the twin sister of a hot-headed young Sagittarian, your week will be completely different even though your birthdays are exactly the same. Such are the mysteries of astrology.
Prize word-puzzle: results in full
The Ambridge Observer has taken the unusual step of publishing the solution to this week’s prize word-puzzle early, as many readers told us it had them completely stumped. ‘I apologise to readers,’ said puzzle compiler Prof Jim Lloyd. ‘There has been an extraordinary outbreak of recherché vocabulary in Ambridge this week and I could not resist making use of it in my puzzle. But if readers missed Lynda Snell’s 70th birthday party, the subsequent argument between Mrs Snell and Lilian Bellamy, or indeed the return of Freddie Pargetter from the Isle of Wight Festival, they would have been at a loss.’
2 Leonie’s view of James (with 4 down)
5 Lilian’s view of Leonie
6 Rejected by Leonie?
8 James’ view of Leonie
11 Lynda’s view of James
12 Lilian’s view of Leonie’s emotional state
1 Lynda’s view of James
3 The row between James and Leonie
4 James’ view of Leonie (with 2 across)
7 Lilian’s view of Leonie
9 What Freddie had on the Isle of Wight (1)
10 What Freddie had on the Isle of Wight (2)
The Bridge Farm Artisan Foods Experience:special earlybird offer!
Bridge Farm has big plans to build a state-of-the-art, eco, retro, timber-framed Learning and Experience Centre to demonstrate our passion for artisan foods at premium prices – none of that processed supermarket muck.
And this is your chance to be one of the first to experience the experience for yourself!
A voucher to spend the day in our light, airy, eco, retro (yes, get on with it. Ed) is a wonderful treat for yourself – or a thoughtful gift for a loved one. The fully immersive artisan experience at Bridge Farm includes:
• Welcome, valet parking and directions to the toilets (Kirsty Miller)
• Workshop One: ‘There’s more to it than pickling, you know.’ How fermented foods will save the planet (Tom Archer)
• Workshop Two: ‘That’s the whey!’ Make your own organic paneer (Helen Archer)
• Lunch: Soup, sandwich and an informal chat about yogurt with Emeritus Professor of Dairy, Pat Archer
• Afternoon walk: a guided tour of Home Farm’s herbal leys and an earnest lecture on bio-diversity (Kirsty Miller).
• Workshop Three: ‘A flair for retail’: Helen Archer’s farm shop display masterclass, with an opportunity to buy the ingredients for a quinoa-based meal of your choice.
Remember – this experience is not yet available (it depends on selling off 3.5 acres to Justin Elliott to build houses, though some of them will be affordable, honest).
So book now to reserve your place at our first amazing, experience-of-a-lifetime experience! Only £100 per person (refreshments extra).